Feeling okay in this moment is enough.
Observing small, simple pleasures where you are is enough.
Noticing the smooth green insides of your avocado is enough.
Watching your spoon glide across its skin is enough.
Breathing in and breathing out right now is enough.
Having answers for this moment alone can be enough.
Taking a long walk later will be enough.
Sitting on a blanket in the green grass is enough.
Listening to birdsong you often miss is enough.
Sharing the sofa with your dog can be enough.
Starting a new book before bed is enough.
Making a sandwich for dinner will be enough.
Reaching in to let yourself off the hook is enough.
Singing a song to yourself today might be enough.
Screaming Joni Mitchell
with the windows down
is enough.
Noticing the sun warm your skin is enough.
Making time to call a friend might be enough.
Waving thanks to the postman—sometimes, it’s enough.
Like an easy, gentle prayer
that’s forgiving and capacious.
In all I am,
I recognize enough.
Between you and me—
This is a refreshed version of a piece originally published on March 28, 2020. Life as we knew it had just changed, and we were grappling with the realization that we could not prevent the tidal wave that was coming. We wondered what parts of our former selves would survive.
Today, the situation is almost just as weird. Some pieces of our lives have lurched into forward motion, yet we carry the burden of ongoing gun violence, still-circulating disease, climate emergency, and war. There is always a problem to address, which creates constant tension with our everyday wellbeing.
Normal life, in this era, sends us into fight or flight. Our nervous systems have had it.
When you pair that with whatever sense of personal responsibility and ambition you have, along with our cultural obsession with busyness, the pressure can be too much. We feel like we always have to be doing something. Constantly bettering ourselves or the world.
But the truth is, we don’t. Those are important responsibilities, but we can also fill our own cups at a sustainable pace as we go.
Coming back into your body and breath is a powerful mindfulness technique, yet it doesn’t require anything special. We don’t have to stop everything and carve out thirty minutes for meditation to feel at ease, though it’s lovely when we do. Sometimes, all our brains need is permission to stop, notice, and appreciate whatever we are doing right now.
In other words — to use a phrase that is so common it can feel inaccessible — all you need to do is return to the present moment.
Thich Nhat Hanh famously uses dish washing as a metaphor for living. If you do not enjoy washing dishes, he says, then you are missing part of your life. If you rush through washing them so you can get to dessert, then during that time, you have missed the miracle of being alive. Every second of life is a miracle, he points out. He teaches that even while washing dishes, we can take time to notice each sensation. By paying attention, we tap into the present. We put the past and future aside. We feel fully alive.
For me, the desire to “do something with my life” often takes me away from the pleasure of the moment. I wonder what I might do and how I might do it. The reality is that all of that will become clear as my life unfolds. Right now, I might as well enjoy my avocado.
If you liked last week’s essay about the coexistence of personal joy and connection with collective sorrow, I recommend this piece from The Atlantic, which looks at the same idea using more data. “Individual hope and national despair are not contradictions,” Derek Thompson writes. “For now, they form the double helix of the American spirit.”
I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for being here. You’re doing great. Take care out there!
The audio version of WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE is published every Wednesday. Last week’s, which was about the antidote to despair, is available on Spotify, Apple, Substack, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE is written by Lauren Maxwell. Can you help us grow? Send this to a friend and ask them to subscribe. Share it on Instagram and tag @lauren_only. If you enjoy this work please consider becoming a sponsor, which makes this publication possible. Every gesture of support is appreciated.
Beautiful!
Thank you for this.